If Only
by outtahere6
Summary: this is my first fanfic ever. Completely AU. Preseries. What if Lilly wasn't the one that Aaron killed. How would things turn out differently, or the same?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Rob Thomas owns all. I just pretend to.

A/N: This is my first fanfic ever, so please go easy. I think that I'll continue it, but if the reviews are terrible (or non existent) then I most likely will be reconsidering. This is just one of those ideas stuck in my head for a while.

And p.s., if anyone can help with ratings and such, that would be so appreciated. I have no clue what to do with those!

**Introduction **

_If only._

_If only I hadn't told Lilly about Logan and Yolanda. If only Lilly hadn't dumped Logan that week. If only Logan wasn't heartbroken. If only I hadn't caved into doing what Lilly wanted that day. If only I hadn't gone to the car wash. If only I hadn't seen that blinding yellow monstrosity that some may consider a car that day._

_If only. _

These were the only thoughts going through the mind of sixteen year old Veronica Mars as she lies awake in her bed at this ungodly hour of the night on October 5th. No strike that, October 6th, now.

A/N2: Okay, so that was overly short, but I'll be posting chapter 1 later tonight. I hope at least someone likes it.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Rob Thomas owns all. I just pretend to.

A/N: This is my first fanfic ever, so please go easy. I think that I'll continue it, but if the reviews are terrible (or non existent) then I most likely will be reconsidering. This is just one of those ideas stuck in my head for a while.

I plan on going back through and changing somethings ecause it didn't quite turn out as wanted, so expect a repost sometime over the holiday weekend.

R&R!

**2 O'clock October 5, 2003.**

"Veronica! Hurry up! Were going to be late!" Lilly screamed through the bathroom door.

The Two girls were at the Mars house to get ready for what appeared to be just another Saturday.

"Ugh," Veronica replied as she looked herself over in the full length mirror. The tight shirt with Neptune High's school logo on the front wasn't so bad, but the shorts that took the word 'short' to a whole new level, were just too much.

"Do I HAVE to wear this?" She called back.

"'RONICA! It's called a uniform. You didn't have to sign up for Pep Squad if you didn't want to." Lilly replied as she fiddled with the lock to the door.

"It's not the squad that's the problem, it's all the fundraisers that _somehow_ my name _always_ ends up on the list for." Veronica says as she swings around to look face to face at Lilly, who is smiling triumphantly while holding up a screwdriver. How she learned to pick locks so well is beyond comprehension, but it does come in handy at times. "What the problem is are these shorts."

"Humm. You're right. They totally don't look right on you."

"No duh!"

She puts her hands on either side of the smaller girl's hips and rolls the shorts up once. "Now they are perfect!" She exclaims happily as she slaps Veronica's green clad ass.

"Lilly, I would prefer if my underwear couldn't be seen."

"Please Ver-on-ica," She draws the name out just to get a rise out of Veronica, and it works. Her eyes instantly darken to the sound. "Modesty so isn't your color. When will you finally realize that?"

Lilly grabs the hand of a self-conscious Veronica and starts pulling her towards the stairs. As they pass her parents room, the girls look in to see Mrs. Mars lying face down on the large bed. Veronica sighs and quietly pulls the door shut.

"Then tell me, oh wise one, just what would my color be?" Veronica says to take their momentary focus off her mother.

Lilly pauses the forward movement towards the front door of the Mars' house for a moment as she mulls it over. She has a thoughtful stare plastered to her face, but suddenly her eyes widen and her entire face lights up.

"You, my bestie, would be red satin. Strapless red satin."

Veronica laughed as they step into Lilly's black car and then challenged, "I wasn't aware that fabrics and fashions were types of colors."

"Oh Veronica!" Lilly exclaimed in mock exhaustion as she starts the car, "Have I taught you nothing! So, what are we doing later?"

"Well, Lil, I don't know about you, but _I_ am going to Luigi's with my father. He told me he has a surprise for me!"

"Only naïve little Ronnie would look forward to a 'date' with her father on a Saturday night. I mean really! You and the Donut are so over. You're hott, and on the rebound! I know about fifteen guys that would kill to have a date with you tonight! You've seriously gotta get out more!"

"And which of these lucky future criminals do you suggest I go out with first? Rebounds only last so long you know." She kids back.

"Hum Come over after your hot dinner 'date' tonight and we will make a list. An order if you will." At Veronica's nervous look, Lilly adds, "Donut will be at a soccer meeting until 10. No worries babe."

The second shift at the Annual Pep Squad Car Wash was nearing an end. To be exact, the pair only had twenty-three minutes and about 41 seconds left. Not that anyone was counting or anything.

_Don't get me wrong, I love Lilly and all, but sometimes that girl just needs to turn it down a notch .I mean, I try to keep her under control, but she is certainly a free spirit._

"God Lilly, I see the Prozac's working." Veronica jokes in regards to her friend's sunny disposition as she suds up yet another Neptune Jock's car.

_I swear they heard that she was single and then threw a bucket of mud on their parent's cars just to get them washed by her today. They must wait all year for this. Pigs._

"High on life, Veronica Mars!" Lilly replies as she fists up her wash cloth. She leans forward and whispers "I have a secret… a good one."

With a quick glance towards our supervisor, Lilly notes the annoyed look she is sporting. "Later." She promises.

Exactly twenty five minutes later, Lilly is gone from the parking lot, leaving Veronica stranded.

"Thanks a million." She mutters under her breath as she starts down the road towards the police station on foot.

She pulls out her cell phone and dials speed dial #7.

"Balboa County Sheriff's Department." A male voice greets.

"And how is my favorite deputy doing on this fine day?"

"Ah, Veronica, always a pleasure. Sorry I couldn't make it down to that car wash, although I did tell most of the other deputies to stop by."

"And Neptune High thanks you, Deputy Lamb. We should totally get a plaque with your name on it!"

"Funny. Should I put you through?"

"Wait just a second. Two questions."

A groan filled the other line of the phone followed by, "Okay, shoot."

"Well, I know you're like, buddy-buddy with my dad… and well –" Veronica was cut off.

"I'm under strict orders not to tell you what your surprise is."

"Aw shit." As Lambs huff, she attempted to correct herself, "I mean shoot?"

"Anyways, Questions numero two?"

"Ah yes. Well actually more of favor number one." Veronica said as she looked to see if traffic so she could cross the street.

_Whoa there, that's odd._ Veronica thought as she stopped walking at the curb. 

"You know, actually, I'll have to take a rain check on that favor. Tell my dad I'll see him at Luigi's." 

"Will do. Bye." Lamb said as she disconnected their call.

There, across the parking lot, a canary of a car sits, its sole occupant resting his head on the steering wheel. _There is only one person in all of Neptune who would own a car like that, of that I'm positive._ She thought as she stalked over to the car.

"Logan Echolls." She proclaimed as she opens the passenger door and climbs in. "If I correctly recall, you told me yesterday that I had no choice but to go to this extravaganza called a fundraiser because you were going out of town on a surf trip. But here you sit. Now my question is, why?" Veronica teases.

Slowly Logan turns his head to face her, and she finally notices his tear streaked face. Her features instantly softened at the sight of his tears and she reaches forward to rub slow circles on his back.

"Its over." He croaks.

"What is? Your surf trip? 'Cause you can go back down next weekend, no need to cry." She responds lightly.

"Lilly and I. Its over. I saw you two at the car wash this afternoon. I sat here all day. She looked so happy and free. It's over, for good."

"Let's go to the beach. We can talk there."

As they drove towards Dog Beach, Veronica called her father to cancel dinner. She felt guilty about ruining his big surprise, but Logan needed her. Her father would have to understand.

After hours of talking, Veronica and Logan decided that it was time to call it quits. They got back into the Xterra and Logan drove the familiar streets of Neptune back to the Kane estate.

Only, as they grew nearer to the home, the recognizable faded as police sirens and ambulances occupied the former driveway.

Yellow police tape lined the walkway to the door, and dozens of officers with stunned expressions stood idly by. Slowly their expressions changed from shock to sorrow as they noticed Veronica hurriedly climbing out of the large car.

She ignored the calls of the officers as she quickly ran into the front door of the home, Logan fast on her heels.

"Duncan! Duncan what happened?" She calmly asked her ex-boyfriend as he sat rocking on the entryway bench. His rocking momentarily stopped as he looked to her eyes, then, as quickly as contact was mad, it was broken, and the rocking continued.

"DK, man, where's Lilly?" Logan asked as he crouched next to Veronica. 

Without a response from Duncan, they both tore down the hallway towards the commotion in the backyard.

Faintly Veronica heard sobbing and pained cries, but nothing else mattered, as she neared the edge of the pool.

Lamb sadly glanced up to her from the body he was hovering over.

The last thing she remembered before falling back into Logan's protective grasp was the word falling from her lips.

"Daddy."

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Reviews are love! 


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note:**

**IMPORTANT!! **

**Just a quick question:**

Do you guys want the timeline to stay in the Pre-series timeline, or do you want me to just forward to season 1 with just things way changed?

I have it written both ways and I can't decide which one to post.

What do you think, I'm really curious. I'll check back to see if anyone said anything before I update tomorrow.

**A/N:**

Hey there, sorry to do this, I know I hate these little notes when I read fics.

Just thought I should say that I haven't forgotten my promise to update this weekend, I'm just… running a little behind.

A new chapter will be up tomorrow, no worries.

I've just gotten home from college to see my dad for the first time since the summer I went to my mom's and step dads in Texas for Christmas and lets just say we had A LOT of daddy/daughter catch-up time to do. I mean, we had Christmas, New Years Eve, and Easter yesterday!

Just a tip, if you are offered to go with your roomie to her house in Puerto Rico for Spring Break, and you turn it down for Michigan, expect it to snow on your first day back. :

And don't even get me started on Danny…. My neighbor/bf/ex? I really have no clue as to what is going on there.

And now I am rambling.

Alright, goodnight and I PROMISE a new update tomorrow (4-ish sound good to you?)

**Hallie.**

P.S. If you actually read that all, you're my hero. Seriously.


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